Hi Folks, my names Matt Long and this is my second entry for the creature / critter competition!
Name: Paddle
Species: Not Known, but traces of peanut have been found.
Job: Pygmy Diffuser/Disposal
Now that pygmy tickling is becoming more popular as a pastime within critter circles, irate pygmies are on the increase and becoming less likely to calm down and return to there ocean floating grounds. Large numbers are being washed up on local beaches and attacking tourists and holiday makers wearing thongs…that’s the tourists…not the pygmies!
Enter ‘Paddle’, the Pygmy Diffuser, similar to the human bomb disposal expert but far more dangerous. His job is to find and escort rogue pygmies back out to sea where he attempts to relax them and return them to a safe colour. The only way to do this is to poke them with extremely sharp objects, the resulting discomfort releases a potent pain killing chemical within the subject which calms and relaxes the tickle trauma victim. This procedure used to be performed immediately after the pygmy was found, unfortunately most humans misconstrued this attack on the pygmy and usually kill the Diffuser.
* Deep sea pygmy tickling is an very old and very dangerous critter sport. It's original purpose was as a 'right of passage' for critters into the workhouses of the human world. Candidates were required to tickle the pygmy (traditionally the Japanese fighting variety...the most aggressive) until it changed colour. Earliest records indicate that a light shade of lavender lava would be sufficient for the candidate to pass. Also note that tickling a pygmy does not make them laugh, in fact the opposite occurs and as the subjects rage increases, colour changes occur. After the incident at the 1805 ‘slap ‘n’ dash’ championships, where over 200 critter spectators lost there ears it was noted that no pygmy should ever be tickled to a colour of mental mauve. Research was conducted and found that as long as the pygmy was kept wet (sprinkler failure, 1871) and tournaments staged below sea level (after the Everest incident in 1931), this high pitched, explosive colour could not be achieved. Today 'tickling' is more of a pastime, Peruvian floating mini-pygmies are now used, and all tickling performed at a safety depth of at least 100 ft to ensure constant wetness. The challenge these days is to go as deep as possible whilst still trying to get your pygmy a nice shade of pulsating purple.
*Underground bare-knuckle tickling has been reportedly on the increase.
No pygmies were harmed in the making up of this story.
! I enjoyed the story! ! Really cool and funny! 
brill story matt. ur critter got a lot of character man looking forward 2 this.
loving the pants very different
